Our friend Darryn was killed in Afghanistan (I never knew how to correctly spell that, but, unfortunately, now I do) on Friday, September 4th. He was married, has a two year old son and a daughter due in December. My heart hurts for them.
We attended his funeral this past weekend, and it was absolutely heart-wrenching.
His death has sent Brad and I searching....not sure for what....Faith? Comfort? Peace? Darryn is THE reason Brad and I met. He has a special place in our hearts. He became friends with Brad when they lived in The Village; he drug Brad out one night, and we all ended up at the same place. Darryn knew one of my friends, and the rest is, well, history.
Darryn was one of the most genuine people I knew. This past week, I would describe him as this... 'He was my friend because he was my husband's best friend.' That's not true. He was my friend. Period. He and I used to get into heated conversations about the war and his unwaivering feeling of committment and dedication to something he desperately believed in. He was a happy-go-lucky guy with an energetic view on life. As I have read on blogs and posts, we are NOT the only ones who believe this.
Darryn landed via private jet in College Station, and the Patriot Guard escorted him 90 miles to Cameron, Texas. What better day to welcome him home than on Patriot Day? When people heard the news that this procession would be coming through their town, they stood on the side of the road as it passed, hats off and saluting him. What a sight to see!
We attended his visitation on Friday night after practically boating to Cameron from McKinney. We were able to talk to his twin brother in person after only talking to him via email. We sat in the pews, waiting to talk to his wife, whom we've never met but felt compelled to speak to. After seeing her, I knew that all the emotions that I had been feeling that week leading up to the funeral would be back. But, I was also relieved. See, in my head, I figured she'd be curled up in the fetal position in the corner of the room because that's what I'd be doing. When we saw her for the first time, she was a grieving widow with a two year old and a life that HAS to go on for the sake of her son and unborn daughter. She was 'okay', and by that I mean NOT curled up in the fetal position in the corner of the room.
When we had our turn to talk to her, Brad told her of the night that him and I met, and how he wouldn't have all that he has if it weren't for Darryn. He got three quarters of the way through, and then I finished for him. I told her that he has a special place in our hearts. He was in our wedding for goodness sake. We were interrupted by the switching of the military personnel that were standing guard by the flag-draped coffin. It was a moment of silence when this happens, and we all watched and stared, maybe wishing that Darryn would be one of them, and this was all a mistake.
Saturday was the funeral. We had heard that 'the church that hates America' was going to be protesting his funeral. Luckily, we got there before they did, and we slipped into the tiny church before we saw them. And, the Patiot Guard was there again to ward them off. I, of course, was a blubbering mess the whole way through....ugly cry it was. There were more than 600 people at his funeral! They couldn't even all get in the church and had to watch it in the recession hall via video. Before the service started, I ran into his wife in the bathroom. She, once again, had it a bit together. I asked her how she was doing (duh) and re-introduced myself. She told me she remembered me and wouldn't forget. And, then she said she didn't know what to say.....strong woman she is.
Then, we learned what a hero he really was. We learned from his Colonel that he was, in fact, saving three of his fellow soldiers lives by pushing them out of the way of a rocket propelled grenade. Yes, a hero. His pastor said 'His community sent him away as a boy, and the US sent him back as a hero.' I don't know if I really believed there were heros among us, but I am convinced now. We didn't get to find out until he was gone. His pastor told us not to run from God but to run TO Him. I found great comfort in this, knowing that Darryn feels no pain, and he can't wait to show us all how much fun he is having in Heaven! This was especially comforting to me because it's so easy to question God and His decision to take this man from his kids that will never really know their dad. Brad and I questioned Him, rather, ran from Him, when we were unable to conceive. But, today, I know there is a reason why He makes the decisions that He does. I can't wait to see Darryn again, feeling no pain.
One of the pastors sang 'God Bless the USA,' and when he sang the verse 'And I gladly stand up, next to you, and defend her still today' we all stood....for Darryn.
There was an obvious presence of military personnel. His Colonel spoke of him and his dedication. The pastor got choked up thanking the Colonel for bringing him home to us. And, in true Darryn fashion, the pastor asked us all to stand and hug the people around us. It was as if we all knew each other.....because we were lucky to know Darryn. The Colonel awarded his family the Purple Heart, the Bronze Star and his dog tags.
Then......they took him away. His flag-draped coffin was carried right by us, out the church and into the hearse. He, again, was escorted out by military personnel and the Patriot Guard. This community mourned his loss. As we walked out of the church, supporters, even kids drenched head to toe, lined the streets, holding American flags.....watching a true hero drive by one last time.
The true magnitude of this loss is indescribable....there are no words. The loss of this man has impacted so many people, and our lives are better because of him.
I was able to speak with his wife one more time after the funeral. I hugged her, and I couldn't let go. I could have stayed there all day and just.....hugged her.
Darryn truely was a hero, and he will be greatly missed by everyone who knew him.
